New Job

So as many of you know, I start my new job on Wednesday. It was probably the hardest decision I have ever had to make to leave my job of 5 years. About 3 months ago I had a meeting with my boss. I was coming up on my 5 year anniversary with the company. I had been working so hard lately and felt I could justify myself having the conversation with her. I thought about what I was going to say so hard and I was so nervous I couldn't even sleep. I had been waiting to have this conversation with her for years, and finally felt it was the best time to have it. I even asked everyone's opinion on what I should say - I even had notes. I went into the meeting and I told her how hard I worked and that I wanted to know if there was ever a chance she would promote me to Sr. Marketing Manager. We had another Sr. Marketing manager at the time, but she had only been there 1 month longer than me and I felt that since we were equal ( experience wise) that it would be a possibility. I told her I had never gotten a proformance raise - ever - in 5 years and that we hadn't gotten a cost of living raise the last 2 years. I told her that I made less than $30,000 and worked 45 hours plus a week - while I was pumping I worked 48 hours plus.....I told her I loved my job, and I loved what I did but I thought I deserved a raise. I mean, a 3 percent raise would only cost the company like $3000?! I see money fly out of that company like crazy. I see us spending thousands of dollars on things we don't need or do out of tradition all of the time. I thought surely it was a reasonable thing to ask. Apparently it wasn't. She said her hands were tied. There was nothing she could do. She wasn't even going to ask her supervisor. It was out of the question. I needed to have more of an attitude of gratitude and be thankful for the job I had. I was completely speechless. I couldn't believe it. After everything I had done and all of my hard work. I walked out of her office completely dumbfounded that the conversation even went like that. I told mike I would never leave Lindsey. It was a job I loved to do everyday and I didn't care about the pay that I would work through it and I wanted to do what made me happy. As the weeks went by I found myself thinking about the future and thinking maybe there was more out there. I decided to send my resume out. I got a call - got an interview with a vendor to work at Walmart. I could not believe the opportunity. I turned it down becuase everything was happening to quickly and I could never see myself leaving the girls I worked with. But then they called and made another offer, I couldn't refuse it - I just kept thinking about the conversation 3 months prior and how no one appreciated me. I decided to take the job. I was so nervous - but I made the leap and I did it. Now to the bad part - my boss came back from vacation and first thing she said to me was that she was mad at me....sure, she was joking - but the rest of the day went by and she never talked with me, never. I couldn't believe it, I was so hurt that it was like she didn't even care that I was leaving. Than - a crazy thing happened - my coworker decides to go with me to my new job - she got hired too! She gave her two weeks notice last week and we were going to make the move together. This made me feel so much better. I had someone I was going to start my new job with and feel comfortable with. Long story short - long long long story short - Today was my first day not at my old job. I guess they decided that it they didn't want my coworker to leave so they made her an offer - a promotion - a raise - and more - what? oh ya that's right - could care less I'm leaving, but her the world would fall apart. Than what do they do? They promote someone else up - looks like they've been making new positions and throwing promotions out and raises like crazy around that place. So needless to say I haven't had an appetite tonight. I have never felt so hurt. why? because I never needed a raise - it was never about the money - it was always about just being appreciated for what I did. I guess I just need to be thankful for my new job, but I can't believe all this happened. I am extremely disapointed and hurt.and the above doesn't even begin to explain what I am feeling.