Monday, September 17, 2012

So how do you like being a stay at home mom?

I get asked this question all of the time. 

So, how do you like being a stay at home mom?

How do I answer?  I absolutely love it

Let me explain.....

First flash back to September 2011, 1 year ago.  I was working at an awesome job, that made great money, and I had just got promoted over the summer. I had full intentions of going back to work when I left on maternity leave, after all....I had Max, took my 12 weeks maternity leave, and went back to work, and we all survived - why wouldn't I be able to do it again?

Than came September 3, 2011.  Enter Alexander Gerard Lamb.  Our young family of 3, became an even younger family of 4.  We were reminded quickly what it was like to have a newborn in the house.  We had done this once before, but never with a 2.5 year old in the house, so everything seemed new.  During the first few months, life moved in slow motion, we didn't do a lot, Mike had almost 2 months off/half days/light work load, and we had tons of help - food brought, visitors, help with housework, etc. etc etc. Than comes November....me and Mike were on our way down to Delight for "Open Deer Hunting Season"  as I call it :)  We started talking about me going back to work the week after Thanksgiving and how it was going to happen.  The more we talked about it, the scarier it got. 

We asked ourselves...

Will my mom take care of both kids?  Can my mom take care of both kids?...it's not the easiest task to take care of a newborn and a 2.5 year old boy
Do we put them both in Daycare? Max had never been in anything, Alex was still so tiny.....it would be so expensive, and I would have someone I didn't even know raising my children 50 plus hours a week...and I would be paying for that?
Urg...I would have to pump again - hardest part - do I need to remind everyone of the last job I had pumping in my car in 100 plus degree heat, a snow storm, a rainstorm, and did I mention a tornado watch? Would I be able to hang in there and do it again for a complete year?
Would we spend most of our time in the car? Driving kids to somewhere - driving the 30 minute drive to work - driving back to pick them up - driving home
How would we do dinner every night?  Would we be able to still make dinners?
When would we have time to workout and run together....or even go to the park?
What time would we have to start baths, bedtime routines,etc?
When would we clean the house, do the tons of laundry, or little things like go to Walmart to get food.
We thought it would be even harder to go on dates because that would mean even more time away from the kids. 
And not to mention how would we have any time to do any projects?  on our house especially if we wanted to try and move...
etc etc etc

The more we talked, the more confused and nervous we got....than Mike said it..."What if you just stayed home with the kids?" At first I literally thought it was kidding.We had never really talked about this before.  I mean, I didn't think there was any way we could just go with one income, we didn't think it was an option. and me, not work?  I have been working the past 14 years.

But than - we started to think about it - after all we were in the car still - plenty of time to think about it.....The more we talked about it the more we wanted it to happen. It just seeemed like the right choice to make. We actually started making a budget.  We got rid of things we didn't need or could go without.  We made it work.  We knew it wouldn't be easy, but we knew it was the best thing for our family.

November 14, 2011....I called into work, and told them I was not coming back.  It was so scary.  I was quitting a job I loved and that I worked so hard to get.  I was giving up my weekly paycheck.  I had worked since I was 15, and now all of the sudden, I was about to volunteerly go unemployed.  Was I crazy?  When the words were coming out of my mouth to my employer, it sounded crazy...but I did it, and I never looked back, no regrets. After all, bottom line - this meant more time with my kids, during the years I will never get back.  I knew I could always start back my career, or any career, but I would never again get the chance to stay home with my kids.

2012
The year has been amazing.  I have been able to spend so much time with Max and Alex.  I have been there every step of the way.  I got to nurse Alex, a complete year (minimal pumping).  I got to get Max enrolled in a Mother's Day out program (we call school) where he gets to go play with other kids his age and learn new fun things 2 days a week, 5 hours each day.  I get to drop him off, and bring him surprises and give him big hugs when I pick him up. I got to work with Max on counting, and teach him all new types of things.  I got to see all of Alex's 1sts. I get to take the boys to the park on pretty days, watch a movie and snuggle on rainy days. I get to take them to feed the ducks, to boingo bounce open gym, to chuckee cheese - to Crystal Bridges museum....anything and everything (within my little budget).  I get to plan on our family meals - take the boys to walmart to get the stuff - and have dinners ready for when Mike walks in the door.  I get to clean the house and stay on top of chores so that Mike doesn't have to worry about the little stuff like laundry and dishes or mopping and vacuuming.  I get to take pictures of the boys all day long and videos, and than even send them to Mike, my mom, and Mike's mom (and lots of others) so they can see the boys grow up and stay in touch.  I can do little things like update facebook and blog so that family and friends can stay in touch better.  I get to take my time and plan out fun events and things for us to do like our vacation to Colorado or the boys Birthday's. I get to do fun projects around the house we never would have had time for. I get to help make some money by participating in the local Rhea Lana's sales or having my own garage sale or selling things on ebay :)  I got to research and help put our house on the market. 

This past summer was so much fun.  It just seems like I am able to get a lot done (when the kiddos cooporate that is) so we are able to just stay on top of things more.  I always try to have everything clean and ready so when mike walks in the door (he gets home earlier since he doesn't have to pick a kid up)  that we can just spend time together as a family doing fun or relaxing things.  More time together = priceless. Everyone just seems happier and less stressed. Which is ironic because normally when you take away money it seems people get more stressed. 

I'm so glad Mike and me were able to work everything out so that I can stay home with the kids. Are there bad days? OF COURSE! haha  Don't you have bad days at work every now and than?  My mom helps me out a ton.  She loves spending time with me and the boys.  This lets her spend time with them without babysitting them 10 hours a day 5 days a week. It seems as though for now, what we are doing is working.

When do I plan on going back to work?
Answer:  Not really sure.  As long as we stay in this house, I won't need to work, but hopefully our house sells one day.....than, once that happens, we will have to evaluate what our payment is on the new house and go from there. So for now, I'm a stay at home mom, until further notice.

Since Max turns 4 in February, I would love to start him in a full time preschool in August to get him fully prepared for Kindergarden the next year.  Since we want to live in Bentonville, that's where I'd like him to start preschool at too, so idealy we can sell before next August, fingers crossed :)





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