I joined a bible study in August. It's a group of about 10 women who meet every other Sunday. We meet at different people's homes. They are coming to my house on December 21st. Who would have thought I would host the Christmas one, right? haha I have really enjoyed making new friends and I'm learning a lot as I go as well.
A few weeks ago we talked about fears.
What do you fear?
Do you fear rejection?
Do you fear time?
Do you fear your flaws?
Do you fear you won't make the right decisions?
Do you fear regret?
Do you fear finances?
Do you fear commitment?
Do you fear death?
Do you fear success?
Do you fear failure?
What do you fear?
When I was asked what my fears were. A few came to mind.
The first fear I talked about was my fear when raising my boys. Will I teach them what they need to know? Will I teach them the right way? As they run up to a road, I think...Did I teach them to look both ways? As they eat a bag of chips on couch, I think...Did I teach them how to also be healthy? When they go to bed, I think...Did I teach them how to brush their teeth right? Did I teach them to say their prayers? When I drop Max off at school I think....Will he make a friend today? Did I teach him to always be himself? That is a fear I have
This lead into a recent fear of mine. Fear of commitment. I had two quick examples. When Alexis asked me to join the bible study, the first thing I thought was....man, can I give up 2 hours of my life to do this? Do I have the time? another example - Max and Alex in soccer. So if I sign them up that means I have to be at the fields every Tuesday at 6pm and try to watch both at the same time. I'll also have to be there every Saturday. EVERY Saturday?! from 10:30 -11:30- AND from noon -1pm wowzers sounds like a big commitment to me
The other fear I talked about.....what if my plan doesn't equal God's plan? I can pray, and pray and pray, but what if I'm praying for something that is not part of God's plan? What if I'm praying for a cure, and that cure, isn't part of God's plan. What if God's plan doesn't match up with my plan. That is a fear I have.
What do you fear?
What's so bad about fears?
Well for one, they take up your time, your energy, your life. The time you spend fearing something is a time you spend not being faithful with something. Fears just get in the way.
Faith is an amazing thing.
Its not always easy to use, but when used correctly, it can be pretty powerful.
What if we used faith to overcome our fears?
With my boys....I could have more faith in myself. I could have more faith in God. I'm not raising them by myself. I can't raise them by myself. I will teach them, and others will teach them. I can lead by example, and with guidance.
I used to have a poster hanging up in my apartment in college. It said, "Preach the gospel to all the world, and if necessary, use words." I loved that saying. I still love that saying. Its so true.
I'm so glad I overcame my fear of commitment this fall. I am loving the Bible study. I am deepening my faith, I am being forced to asked myself questions, and come up with answers. I am seeing how others deal with their struggles. Most of all, I love being around Christian women, they can be so inspiring, and such great examples, and serve as a great support group.
I can't believe I was almost scared off by 2 hours every OTHER Sunday?!
I am so glad I overcame my fear of commitment with my boys and soccer this fall. I'm not saying there weren't days when it was 5:30 and the last thing I wanted to do was get Max and Alex all suited up for soccer, fill up water, get chairs, get snacks, load them into the car, drive there, park, walk them to the fields, etc etc etc. BUT I can say I am glad I did. It was a lot of fun. The boys loved it. I got to see Alex come out of his shell, make some friends, and learn how to play soccer. I got to see Max also make new friends and learn so much. He improved dramatically this fall season. I love to see him do something he enjoys. I enjoyed the conversations with the parents on the sidelines. I felt like it was the place to be. On more than one occasion I found myself looking up and down the soccer fields, so thankful we took that leap for our boys.
The last one is way more difficult. I will have to work on that. What if my plan is different that God's plan? I guess I can just tell myself that I'm pretty sure that would be a better one anyhow. This one takes more faith than all my other fears put together. I know worrying isn't going to help, it's not that I worry, its more like I wonder. Can I get away with saying those are two different things? One thing I am going to do is trust more in God, and keep doing what I'm doing. Keep persevering on my walk and praying for the things I need help with the most.
What I got out of this Bible study were a few things. One - I actually admitted to myself some fears I have. That is good because if you reconize them and admit them, you can start to tackle them. Don't let fears take over your life. Let your faith be bigger. Let your faith SQUASH those tiny little fears.
